bryceee1189 (bryceee1189) wrote in clean_n_sober,

Just do the next right thing....

Originally posted by bryceee1189 at Just do the next right thing....
Man, when it rains, it pours! Trying to clean up my life is definitely a challenging task, or at least it seems to be the case today. All I keep telling myself is just do the next right thing, and God will take care of me. I finally got through my court date; 12 months probation and random drug tests and treatments of their discretion. My probation officer called me this morning and says she's going to be doing my home inspection this afternoon, and tomorrow I have to drive down to Salt Lake to meet with her to discuss the terms of my supervision. I know I have nothing to hide, but I'm still extremely nervous about it all. I suppose that's normal?

After meeting a friend for coffee this morning, I drive back home and as soon as I pull in the driveway, I suddenly get extremely light headed and start shaking uncontrollably. I look in the mirror and I'm sheet white. I immediately tested my blood sugar and ate a piece of french toast, but my blood sugar was normal and eating didn't really help. So I set my alarm for 1:30 and then decide to lay down and see if taking a nap would help. After just falling asleep, my phone rings, with a number I'm not familiar with. Thinking it could be my probation officer, I answer it, and it's a private investigator looking for me! He said he has a court summons for me; fortunately he said it's a civil matter and not a criminal one, and that it's likely a bill that's just gone into collections. So we're meeting tomorrow (hopefully) so he can give me that paper and then I can try to get it figured out.

Lastly, the lady whom I'm painting a picture for texts me and tells me she needs it by Monday, as in 5 days from now. I've been working on it in small chunks as my health will allow, and I didn't know I was working on a time frame here. But my savings account will welcome that money for sure. Slowly starting to feel the pressure, when all I'm trying to do is the next right thing. That's all I can do, right?

Is this what sobriety is like for everyone? I know in comparison to where I could be, these are good problems to have, and that all I can do is turn it over to God and just continue to do the next right thing, but I'm not going to lie, this all feels extremely overwhelming!
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